September 2, 2009
poor little kiddos...what would you do?
madi and i went to target the other day...as we do several times a week just to go play, only this trip was QUITE disturbing. we had just parked and i was getting madi out of the car and into the shopping cart when i hear a woman yelling..no SCREAMING at her 4 kids, and i will guess they are all under 8. she asked one girl to put all the bags in the trunk, and then SMACKS, yea like beat hits her son...HARD. he fell to the ground crying.
i notice i am not the only person who hears/sees her. my stomach churned.
while walking around target that day i noticed a lot of angry/frustrated, probably tired moms. granted they were all back to school shopping, but come on. really, i have never seen so many moms hit/spank their children in one day. i felt so sick.
so, my question is, what do you do? what do you do when an obviously frustrated mom is taking it out on her poor little kids. some people should just NOT reproduce...or hello, use birth control, but not everyone is that bright.
i called steven and made him swear to me that he would never, NEVER under ANY circumstance hit our children...not even a tap. i snuggled madi all day that day...smothered her with love and kisses like i always do telling her how much i love her and how beautiful she is. i am so lucky to be her mom, i am proud to be her mom. i would do anything to protect her...makes me wonder about a lot of the moms out there...and it makes me wonder about the safety of their children.
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The Thomas Kidlets
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4 comments:
I would like to say that I would say something or ask if she needs help because she seems frustrated or ask the child is they are okay...but I am a big pansy and when the situation actually came up I think I would just give concerned looks to the kids.
Poor little tikes. I agree with the whole "some people should just not reproduce" thing, but common sense just isn't as common as we would like.
P.S. I think even spanking should be illegal.
Ramblings from a semi centurion:
Easy to say to her "hitting your kids will not resolve your frustrations, but it could land them in protective custody. So knock it off and realize what you have and that they will copy your behavior. Perhaps you need to reflect on your actions as the underlying cause."
Anybody can make babies, but we have a lot of babies raising babies, regardless of age. Unfortunately, the system ends up raising or paying for the rearing of many of these children. They get very little awareness and it is difficult for them to break the cycle of abuse/hitting of any fashion (mind control as well). Ignorance breeds gnorance...driven by fear...fear is wrapped insecurity then lashed out in anger.
Children know nothing, they come into this world a blank canvas, open to learning and immediately copy what they see. Their lives are better with structure, discipline and expectations.
Parents have the job of teaching children how to live. We all hope our children will be better than we were and that our kids as parents do a better job than we did. Even so, (Jane is perfect.) They can make their own mistakes, hope they have learned from ours and do not repeat them.
We spend little time on this planet and some is spent without the joys and pleasure around us. Conditional love, subjective congratulations and limited exposure retard the growth potential of the small child. They will try anything requested. If they are told no to everything they will have low self esteem and self confidence.
Cause and effect should be taught young and early...there are repercussions for their behavior and/or actions, once they know better. Good to teach kids accountability.
Tell them they can, and you will see them reach high. They need unconditional love, but allowed to fall dust themselves off and go for it again. Kids must learn how to fall, roll and create play outside. Too many parents use love as a crutch to tell the little one "don't do that you will get hurt" versus teaching them and being there to dust them off and get them back out there to play, knowing you have their back and you are there for them.
Parenting is the hardest job in life, comes without a manual, even one for dummies, without a degree, schooling or a test. Cannot believe Government has not required a permit to parent. Don't give them any ideas.
Good luck to you young parents. Enjoy your kids at each stage of their lives, 0-8 is crucial to development. Before you know it, you're looking at grandchildren pleasantly grunting on your knees.
Whew, great things to think about from your Dad! It all seems so overwhelming, but I think that's where intuition kicks in, and I don't think Madi will have the same issues those kids will have, which is a start. Good topic for Jen at our next girly dinner!
Very well said "Dad"! I agree wholeheartedly. The sad truth is that if we don't stand up for our children (our own kids and kids in the community), chances are that nobody else will intervene. Think about how intimidated those 4 little kids must have felt.
It starts with being good parents to your own children (if you have them). It is also important to reach out to others.
I believe that the days of "minding our own business are over." Clearly, that mentality is not healthy considering that their are over 7,000 kids in foster care in San Diego and many others who are suffering everyday in their homes.
Offering help to a frustrated mom is a good idea, although it may not be received well (so be prepared for an unwelcoming response). At the very least, it shows her that others are observing her behavior and she may think twice next time.
If needed, child protective services is also an important resource (858) 560-2191 or (800) 344-6000. Most people can report anonymously with whatever info. they have. Sometimes it is best to leave it to the professionals to connect families with the help that they need. The focus of CPS is to keep children in the home and educate the families if possible.
http://www.sandiego.gov/police/prevention/childabuse.shtml
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